| Another question! :D |
[Saturday, November 10th, 2007 @ 4:38pm] |
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Dear Natalie,
I have two things for advice:
1) I really like Veronica Mars (partially from recommendations from you and people like you :). Anywho I'm INCREDIBLY low in cash - like so bad that I can't afford to pay for box set, I'm not going to university this year because I can't afford it and I have far too much debt incurred from six years of school that it's time to take a break, earn some real money and pay down my debt before I finish my honours and go on (hopefully) to get my masters in journalism (which will require me not only tuition but rent,etc costs). Do you know of any net-sharing programs that allow you to watch V. Mars for free or cheap? or any stores in the Niagara region area that have used copies?
2) Speaking of my financial situation and my not going to Brock, I'm heartbroken because all my pals are away at school or in another country. I've never been so depressed about this issue until it became apparent that one of my closest friends is planning to close herself off from the outside world come the start of the school year (next weekend is about the start for her). It doesn't hurt that she is now an Academic Programmer (like a Don) in residence so it's a job responsibility of hers to adhere to some kind of curfew. She said she wants this to be the year of zero distractions (lucky me - I'm a definate distraction) and then called me her first week of training to say "I wish you were here doing all this with me." I wish I was there too but I can't be, there is no possible way for me to be at school this. I used up all my chances, I used up all my credit too and I need to take at least this year to re-build. I saw now that it's ironic (somewhat torturous) that the year I finally meet and REALLY get to know people who have the same dreams, likes, dislikes and past-times as me is the year I have to give up being able to see them and spend time with them. Up to this point I've been able to afford driving more than a half-hour drive to Brock on any whim - to visit a friend, to go to class, to go to a dance class, to buy books, etc. But I'm finding I'm broke. I'm budgetting down to my last dime and that's how it has to be. But about six or seven of my closest friends are all located in St. Catharines/Brock. This last summer I've driven to them but aside from the occasion beneficial visit I've found I'm starting to put a price tag on my visiting ability. Am I just that cheap for real? I've invited some of my friends with cars to come down to my hometown for a change and they all said no. The friend who's shutting the outside world out in a week isn't very in-touch with the internet - she doesn't have facebook, hotmail (and obviously not MSN), she uses her brock email and only that for communication. Last night we were supposed to make plans for this weekend and instead she called to say she was too busy. I understood that and tried to make new plans, we couldn't make anything concrete because she's working with orientation week this week - still very understandable. Finally as she was getting off the phone with me she said, "we should keep in touch." I was again heartbroken. This is it. I've had to make this choice and I was prepared to have a hard year. But I just thought that it would still be realistic to see my friends or socialize or whatever. Is there a simple answer to this?
From,
Hoping For A Simple Answer
Dear Hoping for A Simple Answer,
1)In regards to your first question, I do know of such a place. But as this is a public entry, I'll have to message you via Facebook with my suggestion. :D I'm glad you want to watch VM! It's a really great show.
2) Wow. I'm really sorry that you're feeling so isolated because of your financial difficulties. It sounds like you're doing what you need to be doing for your future though, and that is important. But like you said, you'd like to be able to have a chance to still socialize with your friends even if you can't be there physically as often. The obvious answer is that they need to make an effort to come see you as well, but you've said that they just aren't willing to make the same effort, which concerns me. I think you're right to limit your amount of time you've been traveling to St.Catharines as it can be quite costly. However, I think you'll have to spend some money in order to see your friends because it just isn't possible for you to hang out with them if SOMEONE doesn't foot the bill. But I think you should talk to your friends about coming to see you again. Stress the fact that you want to continue your friendship with them and you would love it if you all could take turns coming to visit each other because it would mean a lot to you. No friendship can exist without compromise. If they sincerely care about you, they'll make the effort needed. In regards to your friend without many electronic communications as an option, the only thing I can suggest is emailing her at her Brock account and to suggest writing each other letters. It sounds old-fashioned, but it can be a very effective way to keep up to date with a friend who is living far away. I speak from experience on that. :) I hope some of these suggestions can help you to continue your friendships and not feel so isolated. It is not your fault that your financial situation is limiting your ability to return to school. Please remember that. :D And I hope your friends realize this as well.
All the best,
Natalie :)
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| New Question! I'm back! Finally! |
[Saturday, November 10th, 2007 @ 4:23pm] |
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Here's a question from bastets_place:
Dear Natalie,
I dont know if you are still doing this or if I am late to the party, so to speak.
But I do have kind of a question, I guess.
I'm old. Well, middle aged - 37 - which sometimes feels old because I go to college and I work at McDonald's, so it seems as though the whole world is aged 16-22. I recently got a divorce from a man my own age, and I am working on putting my life together so that I can be a good example for my daughter and support the two of us appropriately. I will soon be an elementary school teacher.
The point for which I have a question? I met a man at work - and by man, I mean just barely - he's 18. We get along very well, have a lot of interests in common (either he is mature, or I am immature, or both), and everything that I have learned about him in the past several months tells me that this is a person to respect. He and I have also started dating. As you might imagine, this has caused something of an uproar among our friends and his family. Because I am, for now, dependant on my family (just through December, when I graduate), I am not telling them that he and I are dating.
Am I insane? We are having an awfully good time, and he is a genuinely nice man. Yes, I got proof that he is 18. I guess that I just want an opinion from someone that doesn't really know us both.
From,
Looking for Love
Dear Looking for Love,
I think it's wonderful that you've found someone you are having a great time with. Finding love is such a tricky business. Age can be a big issue in relationships, and the age difference between you two is quite large. However, even though you are a lot older than him, you two sound like you have a great deal in common. So my advice? Is to go for it. You're both adults and as much as other people in your lives may want to judge your relationship, ultimately the only opinions you need to consider are your own. So go have fun! Just be careful so that no one's feelings get hurt, because you are in different places in your lives.
All the best,
Natalie
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| Second question! :) |
[Friday, July 27th, 2007 @ 7:53pm] |
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"Running up that hill" by Kate Bush |
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This is another anonymous one. XD
Dear Natalie,
I often need reassurance from others before I feel ok with something I have decided to do. How can I become more confident?
From,
In Need of Confidence
Dear In Need of Confidence,
The fact that you need reassurance from others before you feel ok with whatever it is you've decided to do tells me that you don't trust yourself. Do you feel like you've made mistakes in the past and that you're not capable of making an intelligent decision on your own? Relying on other people when you make decisions is actually a coping mechanism because it means that if something goes wrong, you don't have to "blame" yourself for the consequences because it wasn't just YOUR decision right?
My advice to you is that it's time for you to start believing in yourself and realize that EVERYONE makes mistakes. No matter how much you worry about making a wrong decision and how many people you ask advice from beforehand, in the end, you could end up making a wrong decision. And that's OK. Mistakes are not something you should punish yourself for because you're human and that means that you WILL make mistakes. The important thing to do is learn from them.
So how do you get more confidant and less afraid of making mistakes? Start out small. Try making a decision on something with a very small consequence if you choose "wrong". If it goes well, you'll be able to see that you CAN make decisions on your own and have that decision succeed. If it turns out badly? Learn from it and move on. Life is all about decisions, so start making some! :)
All the best,
Natalie :)
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| First real question! Yay! :) |
[Friday, July 27th, 2007 @ 7:19pm] |
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"Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benetar |
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This was posted on my other journal by mistake but that's ok. :) It's an anonymous one. XD
Dear Natalie,
So there's this guy that I really like and he says he likes me too. We've kinda been together 9 months now and it's the same vicious cycle. He says he likes me and still will not commit, one day he wants me to have his babies the next he's telling me that he is single, and the next he's like so what are we? So right now I'm in a position where I want to move forward and make a committment but that doesn't seem possible. Like now the whole labeling doesn't matter but there's still a lot of uncertainty and definitely lack of security, but oddly enough I find myeslf trusting him :S Perhaps I am too blinded. So I was wondering if I am allowed to see other people (he isn't seeing anyone else to my knowledge). I noticed recently he's been using a condom during sex, which makes me wonder...I give my all and basically gets nothing in return. He finds it difficult to say nice things to me because according to him I will get swell headed if he does...he gets angry so easily but then when he does the same non-sense to me he doesn't expect the same reaction. My decision right now is to keep it as it is, go with the flow but if another bee comes buzzing around my flower then I will welcome that bee with open arms. Now is that ok or not?
From,
Confused About Love
Dear Confused About Love,
It sounds like you've been struggling with this for a long time. Relationships really don't have to be this complicated! :) First off, my advice is that you have to figure out what you want in life and what you want from the relationship. This is important because ultimately, handling this problem comes down to you. :)
You say you want a commitment and security but at the same time you say that labels don't matter. But it seems to me that what you really want is to be his girlfriend, with all the security that the label of "girlfriend" entitles you to. The fact that you're wondering if you're allowed to see other people and worrying over his using a condom says to me that you don't completely feel safe in the relationship and that you don't completely trust him. Which makes sense because you're not officially dating! But guess what? You're totally right to feel insecure. He is not giving you any reason for you not to worry, because he won't commit to you.
So my advice? Tell yourself that you deserve to be his girlfriend and don't accept anything less. You've been dealing with this mess for long enough. He either cares and respects you enough to make you his girlfriend, or he doesn't. It's time for him to make a decision, so make him make one! I think you'll feel better once you do. Because if his answer is no, then you're free to move on and look for someone else who will value you and give you the security you deserve. Don't sell yourself short, no matter how much you care about him, you deserve to feel secure in your relationship. :)
All the best,
Natalie :)
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| First question! Woot! |
[Monday, July 23rd, 2007 @ 1:59am] |
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Ok so this is a joke one, but that's ok. :D
Here's the question by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) glitteringlynx
Dear Nat,
Everytime I try to cast spells like in the Harry Potter movies, nothing happens. I've carefully analysed the movements, inflection of the voice and everything to perfection but it still won't work for me! Do you think it's because the core of my wand isn't of a magical creature? What do you recommend?
From,
Dumbfounded Harry Potter Nut
Dear Dumfounded Harry Potter Nut,
The fact that your wand (although I'm sure it looks pretty :P) does not have a magical creature for its core could very well be the problem in your spell casting. I'd suggest ordering one through: www.realmagicalwands.com and see if a wand with a better core does the trick. If you can't afford this, I'd suggest contacting one of Hogwarts' top students, Harry Potter, to see if he has any tricks up his sleeve. :P (Although he may be busy...he tends to be off fighting HE THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED an awful lot) Finally, keep practicising! No wizards became great in a day!
All the best,
Natalie :P
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